Friday, 29 July 2011

I should probably be sectioned for this but ONWARD!

I present to you the question that's on everyone's minds lately; can laid-back white-trash NWOBHM tribal chic be a thing??
I certainly hope so, because lately that's what I've been (perhaps vainly) trying to pull together with some of my more recent purchases, attempting to combine my much flaunted penchant for Native American, Nordic or ethnic-geometric style prints with the I-just-fell-out-of-bed-and-this-shirt-off-the-floor-will do zoned-out stoned surfer style the character of Johnny Spitieri sports in the criminally under-the-radar 2003 Aussie film Gettin' Square into some sort of 'look' that constitutes summer clothing without having to dig out the florals. (There's only so many times you can re-read a sentence to figure out if it actually makes sense before the English language itself begins to lose meaning so you're getting the prior abomination as is.) I hold my hands up and admit that David Wenham's stellar performance (and hick-chic mullet, and oh god I can't believe I just both coined and used that phrase) as the drugged up, earnest but rather, er, well, okay idiotic and criminally dim Spit is mostly to blame for this sudden slight obsession with trying to look as if I live in a motel in the mid-90s, and I am not ashamed to admit that if I could get away with not looking as if I'd been let out from somewhere I'd go for the mullet too, but I do digress.



So, while I have not yet opted for the leopard print undies I have been tracking down and securing a small collection of apparel that while doesn't directly evoke the aura of unemployment I think does, attitude-wise anyway (and it really is all about the attitude,) allow for a more causal grunge-esque, low-maintenance approach. Plus, sleeves?!; why get a tan when you can get painfully and instantly sunburnt shoulders the moment you set foot outdoors? HELL YEAH.

IMPROMPTU FILM REVIEW: the DVD itself was hard to track down, and I eventually opted for the Czech release, which plays in English, from this rather fantastic seller on Amazon. Not your typical comedy either; it's hilarious, yes, but it's a human comedy- no stupid one-liners (okay, what Sam Worthington says when being held-up at screwdriver-point by Spit made me choke on my Sunny D) but it's black humour with solid characterisation (and yes, I bought this film primarily because I knew David Wenham was in it, but again his performance is completely outstanding- (this character is almost quite literally too stupid for his own good, a criminal, small-time drug dealer, but you know, despite his complete lack of perception and ridiculously misplaced notions of the world there is an innate likeability that comes across, or perhaps a pity for this wide-eyed, misdirected but ever optimistic crim that the film illustrates perfectly)- and worth every one of the awards he won for the role that year Down Under,) a deceptively 'simple' story of a man trying to get his life together after prison, to go straight, which is harder than it appears- it's an utterly fantastic and far too little-known gem of a movie, and I urge you to check it out!

 


Onto the t-shirts then (yes, there was a point to this!) Today's purchases were a rather opportunistic find; whilst walking home in the glorious weather (sleeveless, natch) I popped into Urban Outfitters and found that a t-shirt I'd had my eye on for a long time was in the sale! Nothing says early 80's metal like a day-glo leopard!? Yes, it's another cat t-shirt! Digging around in the sale section I also came across another sleeveless tee, with a Shout at the Devil-inspired pentagram in white on black, also half price! Ay carumba! Gettin' my Wicca-chic Girlschool vibes on, trailer-park style! ( I was totally going to add some photos of Iron Maiden here too because awww yeeeah but there was not a single image I could find that I didn't start laughing at so here's a photo of Def Lep looking super-stylish.)


A few days ago I also nabbed this little beaut at Topshop; I must admit I'm falling a bit in love with grey marl, if such a thing is a) possible and b) something you would admit to, but check out that fantastic Nu-Neolithic motif! (I've got hundreds of these zingers!) The grey goes with pretty much anything too, which is fantastic because I don't really know how to dress myself even when fully conscious so bonus points for wearability there!



I'm actually rather embarrassed to post this because LOOK AT IT but here's an outfit I may never, ever wear out of the house for your enjoyment:



So, what have these glorious t-shirts to do with a fictional Aussie reprobate? Well, I like a mish-mash of inspiration as much as the next person who blatantly just wanted to write about a film instead of t-shirts, and the above cut-off acid-wash jeans are already sitting in my wardrobe; all I need are a pair of flip-flops and criminal recor-, er, haircut. It's an homage, shall we say, in a small way. Inspiration can come from so many different sources, (the less said about my fixation on Russian prison tattoos after watching Eastern Promises the better) and I like to work little touches of things that I love or that inspire me even if the only person who picks up on them or enjoys them is myself. Does that make me a loser? Yes, probably (definitely, emphatically, truly, madly, deeply -oh, the Australian puns are coming to me now), but D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F? I'll let you decide!

Tuesday, 14 June 2011

SNAKES ON A T-SHIRT

Hey ho woah wait holy hiatus! Let's jump right back into the action, shall we? THE SERPENTS OF ROCK COMMAND IT.

Featuring; exactly ONE snake.



Serious Sheep.



AND LION AND WYVERN BATTLE TO THE DEATH DEATH DEATH!!!



Despite the fact that the powers that be (Topshop) decided that for some reason a print such as this would be suitable for placing on a CROPPED t-shirt, thus rendering it pretty much unwearable 99% of the year, I still, as always, was seduced by the power of other people not knowing what the hell a serpent was and so forked out the cashish. Maybe they were trying to


(THE ZOOLOGY SYSTEM AW YEAH) but to be fair, irreverence is all part of what makes this t-shirt so cool in my book (of t-shirts.)

Design-wise and awesome points factored in this is still one of my favourite t-shirts, but because of the wearability issues I'm going to have to give it 8/10 on a scale I've just made up. Yeah, I'm about as scientific as the designers (SHEEP ARE SNAKES LIONS ARE SNAKES SNAKES ARE SNAAAAAKES)

We are the


and we bid thee farewell.

Saturday, 21 May 2011

Breaking News!!!

Okay, not quite, but I did a little digging and my so-called absolutely random as all get out NIGHT LIONS t-shirt as featured HERE is manufactured by a brand called Magick Outlaw, who seem to have the right idea when it comes to t-shirt ideas, in that they are COOL AS A COOL CUCUMBER. Check out their Etsy page!

I also stumbled upon this Japanese site where their Crystal Forest t-shirt has ENRAPTURED ME (on this, they day of the rapture, as I type there are four minutes left until the world ends!!!!!!!) Anyway, my Night Lions t-shirt is on that site, sold out, natch, and according to my conversion skills costs about £30?!?! Mine was £4, and for charity to boot! If the world does end in four minutes (three, now, actually) then I can rest easy knowing I did my part.

Wednesday, 18 May 2011

IN SPACE, NO-ONE CAN HEAR YOU PURR

Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Third Space-Cat t-shirt discovered amongst wardrobe detritus! I exchanged monetary notes for this cloth edifice in ye olde London-towne many moons ago, which makes it sound all exotic, like, but I must bring it back down to earth slightly and add that I got it in Urban Outfitters. SHRUG.



The V-neck borders on indecency! Can I get a hell yeah? Check out the nebulaeic (it's a word) colours and retro-stylee print, I love this t-shirt so much I completely forgot all about it for like a year, hooray!




The eyes penetrate. The stars infiltrate. What lies within? What are the answers? Is that Whiskas?




There's even a pentagram-sorta-thing going on there. Which I approve of, naturally. It is, in my opinion, FAR OUT.

In other news, the plan to have this as a weekly blog has fallen by the wayside almost immediately after stating so, due to the fact I am a lazy, lazy person. Sorry about that :)

Wednesday, 4 May 2011

RAGNAROK AND ROLL

In George R. R. Martin's Song of Ice and Fire series- which if you know me but at all you'll refrain from mentioning unless you LIKE lengthy diatribes- instead of carrier pigeons or semaphore or throwing sticks at each other people use ravens to communicate (okay, so pretty much like carrier pigeons but nnghanyway.) These ravens can talk, too, like parrots mainly, words like corn and snow and cliffhangerrrrr. Like all the cool kids I added a bunch of Game of Thrones related feeds to my Twitter, whereupon I came across the term instant ravening. And now I know why I was indeed brought into this world; to appreciate those two words in the way only a sad, lonely nerd can.

WHAT THE HELL HAS ANY OF THIS CRAP GOT TO DO WITH T-SHIRTS?

Well, I have a t-shirt with a raven on it, smarty-pants! Thor's hammer amulet on the bottom right there, check it!



Eyeballs and skulls and a spear and an AXE and a wonderful raven (is it Huginn or Muninn? Know your Norse mythology, kids!), what more could a girl ask for, really? (Except for it to be in my size, for alas, they had sold out! And also it is a rather violent blue. I'm torn.)



'Sup dude?! You still got one eye left! No worries!


This guy has it; he's just chillin' with an eyeball, gettin' all starry-eyed on us. Coolest cat in Midgard, he is.

This t-shirt is best worn chillaxing in your chariot in the Valhalla car-park (you have to be 10,000 or over or omnipotent to enter, unfortunately.)

Note: Posts are going to be 'roughly' weekly from now on. And now that I've said that you can be sure to find that I forget to update it next week. The suspense.

Wednesday, 27 April 2011

COWABUNGA!

As seen on such auspicious occasions as 'last Saturday night', may I present one of my favourite t-shirts ever:


I RECLAIM THE SLEEVELESS TEE FROM THE REALMS OF MENSWEAR!!! Not for me are the paltry cut-off offerings which are the standard fare in ladies' rock fashion, these babies (or 'arm-holes') go all the way to the bottom of my ribs! AND WHO DOESN'T LOVE RIBS!?!



I love this t-shirt. It's faded and worn out but the cow skull is only made more awesome by it's ghostliness, an apparition staring out from the murky nether-kingdoms of washed-out cotton. All you can make out form a distance is the metallic sheen of the horns.



The urge to learn archery and cattle-rustlin' and to dance around a totem pole of some sort almost overcomes me whenever I wear this, So far, I have mastered it.


So far. 

Wednesday, 20 April 2011

Not idly do the tees of Lorien fall

Understatement of the eon it may be, nevertheless it bears mentioning that I have a rather soft spot for the Lord of the Rings and it's many permutations. Let's see, we have:

The books: epic, engrossing, very, very long. I read at about 40,000 WPM and they took me a month to get through, despite my penchant for all things hobbity. However, this is not to say I didn't enjoy them; they are probably my biggest influence when it comes to writing my own (albeit, awful) stories.

The films: Epic, obviously. And full of hot dudes with swords. By which I mean the utter scope and the attention to detail, the minutiae of costuming and lore; it was a mammoth task to convert such an iconic series of novels into moving pictures, and one that I think the makers and producers and actors did a rather bang-up job of, verily!

The t-shirt: I think my reaction was 'ASDFGHJKLKJHGFDSDFGHJKLJHYTRE!"£'



I don't know about you, but when I think of LotR and Masonic imagery I get rather excited (yeah, okay so the Masonic stuff reminds me of National Treasure. And my excuses for that being an adult thing to say are twofold: Sean Bean and Nicholas Cage.) I digress, I digress. Why don't we just let the garment speak for itself?



 

The intricacy of the elvish script! Yes I'm a huge nerd!



Look! A tiny Frodo and Samwise! Again, though this blog was not originally intended to be a constant promotional tool, this shirt was purchased in a flurry of mis-typed credit card info and hyperventilation from threadless. I promise, my next entry will attempt to diversify slightly, but they really are an amazing store.

I wear this with dark grey skinnies, leather jacket, cons and an attitude. Broadsword optional.

(I would normally apologise for the awful title pun but I'm actually quite proud of it.)